A Mother's View

Growing up my family and I were a very close knit.  We had our ups and downs as most families do, but we still loved each other in spite of our differences (  My mother and I have a very unique relationship.  We certainly didn’t see eye to eye when I told her I was gay.  She was pretty angry actually.  Then when I got sick she prayed with everything in her heart that it wasn’t HIV/AIDS…of course it was.  She struggled a lot internally and searched for answers to questions that most parents didn’t have the guts to ask.  Below is an article that my mother wrote entitled “HIV/AIDS a Mother’s View”.  I am making this blog posting to honor my mother for growing and not standing still.



In January 2004 my son was in the hospital for the 3rd time in 6 months. No one had any answers but, when the diagnosis finally came it was not the one I wanted to hear. My 21 yr. old son has HIV. In my mind I knew that is what the problem was but, my heart couldn't accept it. Anger, hurt, emptiness, helplessness, and loss were at the top of my list of emotions I experienced those first few months.
 Several months ago when James wrote an article for a major newspaper (No One Picture Of HIV/AIDS). I was furious and afraid. I felt like he put himself in danger by trying to reach out to help others. So much good came out of that article that it was hard to stay mad with him. He now talks to young people about the prevention of HIV/AIDS and councils those that have been diagnosed. It took a lot of courage to write that letter and it was my inspiration to step forward as a parent that had been affected by HIV.
  We are a close family that never takes today for granted. I am involved in James' treatments and I help in different ways to help make others aware. I have just finished a panel for the AIDS quilt. It is my hope that I do not see the squares filled with names. I also make magnets for cars to help make people aware. The money goes to Common Ground (a house that reaches out to all that are infected or affected by HIV/AIDS). I would love to see a house like that in every county. 
  As a society we need to come out of our caves and realize it is not, nor has it ever been a "gay" disease. It does not just affect people of a certain sex, social class, sexual preference, race, or nationality. It is not just "those people" across town. It is our families, friends and neighbors that or either infected or affected by this horrible disease.
  Living with HIV/AIDS is like a roller coaster. It has some serious ups and downs and it takes a lot of courage to keep going. There are good days and sick days but, you have to have to keep going and believe that it will be better tomorrow.
  I draw courage and inspiration from my son and those at Common Ground, because of their love of life and their fight to keep going everyday. It tears my heart out to know that many of them have been shunned not just by society but, by their friends and in some cases their own families. I love them each and everyone not because they are unlovable but, because they are so loveable. 
  Jesus didn't go to the well, wealthy or loveable people. He went to the sick, poor and unlovable. I am not a judge. I am just a person (like you) that has been affected by this horrible disease.
  Thank you James for loving me when I was unlovable. Together we can all make a difference. One life and one day at a time.